GOAL sat down with the American goalkeeper to discuss his toughest moments, and why he has high hopes for the future
It's been nearly two years since Zack Steffen received "the call." He still thinks about it, too. Since the day that call came, it's impacted every aspect of his career. Nothing has been the same since.
Steffen spent several years as the USMNT's starter as goalkeeper and to the surprise of many, he was left off the 2022 World Cup roster by then coach Gregg Berhalter. His dreams were dashed and, from there, everything spiraled.
Injury issues popped up. His club situation as the No. 2 goalkeeper at Manchester worsened. He hasn't played for the USMNT since. What once felt like destiny was gone. It was hard to accept. Steffen, by his own admission, struggled mentally. His belief in himself was shattered.
"Nobody wants to get rejected," Steffen said to GOAL. "Everybody wants to be part of something, and I want to be part of the national team. I want to be part of winning teams. So, yeah, it f*cking hurt, and it still hurts to this day."
It's not that all of his problems stemmed from that phone call from Berhalter, but it was a key point. It was the type of setback that changes a player but, more importantly, can change the person.
This season was about using those changes for good. In need of playing time, Steffen returned to MLS, signing with the Colorado Rapids. His form has returned. So, too, has his confidence and belief. In Colorado, Steffen has found himself in a locker room full of like-minded people.
The Rapids feel overlooked, under-appreciated and unwelcome, but mostly they feel angry. That attitude has them near the top of the Western Conference and fighting for an MLS Cup just one year after being in the league's basement.
Steffen is using that mindset as fuel, too. After several really difficult years, he says that he is finally feeling like his old self again, and that transformation is happening at the perfect time. The 29-year-old is ready to reclaim his USMNT dream, having spent the last few months reclaiming the confidence that was drained out of him the moment he hung up that phone in 2022.
"You hear outside noise," Steffen said. "You get in your head, you get down, and you start to f*cking doubt yourself a little bit, but that's where you just got to f*cking shut those voices up."
In the Wednesday Convo, a weekly Q&A with central figures in the American soccer scene, GOAL caught up with Steffen to discuss how he's rebuilt himself, the culture in Colorado, dealing with heartbreaks and his USMNT hopes.
USA Today SportsYou made a big decision to sign with the Rapids this offseason. What's that been like?
Steffen: "I knew it was going to be a fun challenge. The Rapids had a good couple of good years in 2020 and 2021 but besides that, they've struggled since lifting the trophy in 2010, so I saw that as a challenge. It's been amazing, man. The coaching staff has been great. The players have been amazing. We're young, hungry dogs that love the negativity and love the media talking sh*t. We love people trying to put us down.
"We just focus on what we can control, and focus on being the best team that we can be and attacking and giving our fans something to cheer for and get excited about. We're trying to get this club to where we believe it should be: competing for championships."
AdvertisementGettyHow have you handled this time away from the USMNT?
ZS: "It's really tough, to be honest. After being the No. 1 for however long, and then some Covid and some injuries and all that … but then I thought I was back playing well, and still didn't get picked [for the World Cup], and still haven't gotten picked. It's been tough, bro. It definitely hurts…
"I'm a big believer in God, and that this is the path he has chosen for me, and for whatever reason these are the challenges that he wants me to face, to grow into a better player, better human father, better family man, better brother and everything.
"I'm just trying to focus on what I can control, and training every day, being healthy, taking care of my body and trying to play the best football that I can play. Whenever the camps come up, hopefully in the future, I'll get selected, and if not, then I'll continue to deal with those mini-heartbreaks when they come.
"My goal is 100 percent to get back with the national team and be the No. 1. That's 100 percent my goal."
Getty ImagesAs you've gotten older, how have you learned to cope with those 'mini-heartbreaks?'
ZS: "I handle it now by talking to a therapist. I talk to a life coach as well. I used to hold everything in. I learned that from my mom because she had some difficult traumatic events, but that's how she survived. That's what I learned from her: just to keep everything in and keep trucking. But then it eventually builds up and you explode, and that's just not healthy. So now I'm talking to a therapist and working through these emotions and past traumas that I had growing up.
"We all have traumas and issues that we have to deal with. For me, what works is talking to talking to talking to my wife and then talking to my therapist and just trying to be vulnerable and trying to find ways to cope with disappointment and rejection. Everybody deals with all types of stuff like that. It's just all about how you handle it, and how you hold yourself after that.
"That's definitely the balance that I've been trying to figure out. Any time I get that email that I'm on the reserve roster or whatever, or like when I got the phone call from Gregg that I wasn't going to the World Cup, I just said a prayer. I know that this is not what I want, but this is the path that he has for me for whatever reason, and I won't know it right now, but it's going to make me stronger and wiser and more motivated to be better in the future."
Getty ImagesWhat's been different for you this year? How have the Rapids helped you get back to your best after not playing for so long?
ZS: "It was just about not trying to do too much. When I was coming back, I felt like the first couple of months of the season, I was trying to do too much. I was trying to show people I could do everything. I was putting too much in my head. I was putting too much on my plate. I was overthinking. That gets you in trouble, especially as a goalkeeper.
"I was out for nine months before that. I hadn't played a game in nine months, so getting in a game rhythm and just getting tons of games, that's most important for goalkeepers. Now six or seven months into the season, I'm feeling sharp. I'm feeling really, really quick, and the timing is on and everything."